Foodie News: The Aporkalypse is Coming!!!!

26 Sep

The National Pig Association in Britain is warning of a global shortage of bacon and other delicious pork products. This is due to the drought in the US and Canada that has caused the cost of feed to skyrocket. Yes, the aporkalypse is coming!!!!!

So what should you do as a concerned citizen to prepare? Well, you have a few options:

  • Go to Costco and pull a Ron Swanson and say, “Give me all of the bacon you have. No, I don’t think you understand me… ALL of the bacon!”
  • Buy a few pigs and start keeping them in your backyard. Those who live in townhouses or suburban subdivisions might want to consider getting micropigs. (Just like Honey Boo Boo!)
  • Slowly wean yourself off of bacon pork and substitute beef bacon. Yes, I know this is drastic, but desperate times require desperate measures. That being said, NEVER resort to chicken or turkey bacon.
  • Order a few BLT’s from Tony’s in Birch Run, Michigan. There’s enough bacon in them (a full pound per sandwich) that you’d have your fill of bacon for at least a month.

Let’s hope this terrible situation is over soon. In the meantime, enjoy your bacon.

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2 Responses to “Foodie News: The Aporkalypse is Coming!!!!”

  1. The Tiny Dictator September 26, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    My name is The Tiny Dictator and I approve this message!

    • Laura September 26, 2012 at 9:18 am #

      Hahaha. I approve this comment! (Seriously, I had to go in and approve it.)

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